The Spell is Broken

I feel like Cinderella when the clock strikes midnight.  Dad got here and somehow I knew it was all over.  The spell that I have been under for the last two months has been broken, my secret is out, and now I am on a train riding away from where I have called home for what seems like so long.  It has been a weekend of ups and downs.  I had a really hard time packing up my stuff and saying goodbye to my family, while at the same time having tears of joy to see the familiar faces of dad and uncle Mike.  It’s funny because with my own insecurities playing in I wasn’t sure if Maria Carmen was really sad to see me go, but when I came to pick up all of my stuff and hand my keys into her, we both cried.  I strangely felt so loved and also felt a lot of compassion for her.  The family take a lot of risk and sets themselves up to be hurt by hosting students all the time, and yet they continue to put themselves out there and allow people into their hearts.  I have been so privileged to be able to be part of the family, and it is one of the things I will miss most.  On Saturday dad and I headed up to the house so he could meet Monolo and we sat and chatted for a bit before dad departed, but not without getting a bit teary eyed is saying his thanks.  It is a strange thing to translate someone else’s compliments, but I think the message was very clearly transmitted.  After waiting about another half-hour with the family Estefania and I headed over to her apartment for a party with her friends.  Before leaving I gave Maria Carmen one last hug goodbye and Monolo gave me a huge hug and a huge kiss on the cheak, and I knew that he had enjoyed my company as much as I had enjoyed his.  It was a little strange to be seemingly celebrating at Estefania’s when my heart was so heavy.  I was glad to be there and hanging out with Spaniards, but Estefania kept checking on me and making sure I was ok because I was being so quiet.  Around 2:30am we headed out to go dancing.  One last time in the “Barrio.”  We went to some of my favorite spots, and as one of my professors once told me, I let myself feel the finality of it as memories of dancing and talking and making friends flooded my mind. 

Around four the group headed to another dance club, and I decided that it was time for me to head back.  The magic was quickly running out, and I needed to get back before my carriage turned back to a pumpkin.  I headed to bed and had a conversation with dad that I won’t soon forget that included us both hysterically laughing, which was just what I needed.  As I awoke nice and early on Sunday, I took a nice long shower while dad and Mike were at Mass.  I headed down to the little café with my book to have a quiet breakfast, and to my surprise I ran into the men on their way back from the half-hour long Mass they had just attended.  Upon finishing my breakfast we all headed back and got ready to go to the beach.  We decided to take the tram up to San Juan where the beach is longer, cleaner, and more beautiful than the one in Alicante.  We rented an umbrella and a few chairs so the men didn’t get fried to a crisp while I took in the last few precious rays for a while.  Dad and I took a dip, and he seemed really excited to be able to say that he had swam in the Mediterranean.  Around two we decided it was time to head back.  We grabbed some gazpacho and calamari for lunch and then headed up for a siesta.  We took a short troll on the esplanade and stopped for a glass of wine, or in my case coffee.  As a last supper in Alicante we went in search of a good paella, and we were quite successful.  We found a little restaurant in a small narrow street lined with people and musicians alike all enjoying the beautiful night.  One last stroll on the esplanade after dinner, and Mike headed to bed.  Dad and I met up with Sergio, our program coordinator, but mostly just my friend, and had a short chat before dad headed upstairs.  Sergio and I walked for a bit and talked and reflected on the time I had been in Alicante.  I felt a lot of compassion for him and how hard it must be to have students come, make friends, and then leave over and over again.  We eventually made our way back to the hotel where we had to say our goodbyes.  He said something that I really want to believe which was, “The people that really matter the most, you will see again.”  I think there is wisdom in that, and I hope that it is something I will see be true in my life.

Standing in awe of the magic,

Sigourney