Things I'm Thinking About
This post is nothing profound, I simply felt that a one line prayer request could not sufficiently explain what is in my head and on my heart.
My kids- as my departure is rapidly approaching I don't want them to feel surprised or abandoned. I have begun to warn them that I will be leaving, but it is almost impossible to endure their looks of sadness. I love them so much, and as much as I don't want them to be attached to me, I am so attached to them. I tear up every time I think about the fact that my impending reality is life without them. I can't even.
Going back to the US- Undoubtedly I have been thinking a lot about how soon I am leaving. As I have expressed to a lot of my family, life in the US now seems like a distant dream to me. I fear that I will not know what to do with myself. At the same time, I miss my family like crazy and can't wait to see them. I just want to hangout with my mom, and go for runs with my sister, and meet my new niece!
This country- I have more than once been asked, "Why El Salvador?" or "Aren't you scared?" The reality is I live in a country that has one of the highest homicide rates in the world. In June we averaged 22 per day. PER DAY! It is out of control and it makes me so incredibly sad. But to answer the question, no, I am not scared. In Psalm 91 the Lord promises to protect us, and in Matthew 28 he tells us to go out into all nations preaching his name. I want to follow his command and I trust him to protect me. People here need hope. They need to know that there is a savior that has already beaten death and that they do not have to fear dying because they can have eternal security. There is not better news than that and what better place to be sharing a message of light in such a dark time?
All the blessings- If I even tried to make a list of how many blessings the Lord has given me there would not be enough paper. Today is such a great example. I had to go to the foreigners office again today (I went yesterday too with no luck) to ask for an extension on my visa. Sounds super fun right? However, my good friend Giovanni graciously has been helping me through the process, and rather than be frustrated and stressed by the bureaucracy of the government we mostly laughed. I'm so grateful for his friendship. Also the smiles and kisses from my kids. The sunshine. The fresh papaya in the fridge. My nightly walks with Keyla laughing and just knowing each other. I am so grateful.
Spiritual fruits- Between my lesson plans and our sermon series I have been thinking a lot of about spiritual fruits and disciplines. Something that I've been wrestling with is the fact that God has already given us the Spirit and as a result we should be living out of the fruits of that same Spirit. However, I do not always feel that I am patient, kind, loving, faithful, peaceful, good, self-controlling, joyful, and gentle. But if the Spirit is in my shouldn't these things be evident in me? I have no answer. Just thinking a lot about it and how I can cultivate the fruit more in my life day to day. Patience is one I am learning a LOT about!
There are many things on my mind, and many I cannot put into words. I am so grateful for each day the Lord blesses me with and all the things that come with it. I truly see each moment as an opportunity to learn and grow and see God working.
Standing in awe of life's mystery,
Sigourney
P.S. Look out for my next post! It will be lots of photos!!
My kids- as my departure is rapidly approaching I don't want them to feel surprised or abandoned. I have begun to warn them that I will be leaving, but it is almost impossible to endure their looks of sadness. I love them so much, and as much as I don't want them to be attached to me, I am so attached to them. I tear up every time I think about the fact that my impending reality is life without them. I can't even.
Going back to the US- Undoubtedly I have been thinking a lot about how soon I am leaving. As I have expressed to a lot of my family, life in the US now seems like a distant dream to me. I fear that I will not know what to do with myself. At the same time, I miss my family like crazy and can't wait to see them. I just want to hangout with my mom, and go for runs with my sister, and meet my new niece!
This country- I have more than once been asked, "Why El Salvador?" or "Aren't you scared?" The reality is I live in a country that has one of the highest homicide rates in the world. In June we averaged 22 per day. PER DAY! It is out of control and it makes me so incredibly sad. But to answer the question, no, I am not scared. In Psalm 91 the Lord promises to protect us, and in Matthew 28 he tells us to go out into all nations preaching his name. I want to follow his command and I trust him to protect me. People here need hope. They need to know that there is a savior that has already beaten death and that they do not have to fear dying because they can have eternal security. There is not better news than that and what better place to be sharing a message of light in such a dark time?
All the blessings- If I even tried to make a list of how many blessings the Lord has given me there would not be enough paper. Today is such a great example. I had to go to the foreigners office again today (I went yesterday too with no luck) to ask for an extension on my visa. Sounds super fun right? However, my good friend Giovanni graciously has been helping me through the process, and rather than be frustrated and stressed by the bureaucracy of the government we mostly laughed. I'm so grateful for his friendship. Also the smiles and kisses from my kids. The sunshine. The fresh papaya in the fridge. My nightly walks with Keyla laughing and just knowing each other. I am so grateful.
Spiritual fruits- Between my lesson plans and our sermon series I have been thinking a lot of about spiritual fruits and disciplines. Something that I've been wrestling with is the fact that God has already given us the Spirit and as a result we should be living out of the fruits of that same Spirit. However, I do not always feel that I am patient, kind, loving, faithful, peaceful, good, self-controlling, joyful, and gentle. But if the Spirit is in my shouldn't these things be evident in me? I have no answer. Just thinking a lot about it and how I can cultivate the fruit more in my life day to day. Patience is one I am learning a LOT about!
There are many things on my mind, and many I cannot put into words. I am so grateful for each day the Lord blesses me with and all the things that come with it. I truly see each moment as an opportunity to learn and grow and see God working.
Standing in awe of life's mystery,
Sigourney
P.S. Look out for my next post! It will be lots of photos!!
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